Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

What does greg and Ian have in common?

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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