So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I have a really funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If life gives you lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops