A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops