Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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