The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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