Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops