Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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