Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Get up Look in the mirror

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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