How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops