Im taking a shit right now.

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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