How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

Whats 1+1? window!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...