Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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