Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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