- Anti Joke

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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