What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whos on the right track? lady gaga

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A dyslexic man walked into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

thumb_up thumb_down -11

in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops