Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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where's mom I killed her

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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What is green and slow Grass.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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