son, you're adopted.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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I hate you.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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Black people are innocent.

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im jewish

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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