How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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quantum physics?

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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