What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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