What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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