A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Women's rights

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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