Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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