How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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