What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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