What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

Why are white people white? I don't know

What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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