Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops