Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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knock knock whos there .. derp

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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DERP

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops