Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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Freedom of Speech

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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