What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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What's big? Jupiter.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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Kenny G

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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9:11 make a wish

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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