What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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kennah campion... being nice

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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blubber vaginass CC

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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So one time this woman was learning...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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