Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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Liars go to hell! -God

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Poop

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CHEEZECAKE

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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