Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

i like potatoes

What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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