What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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Is Carly smart? No.

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Religion

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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