I love you very much.

What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

What's red and silly? A blood clot

How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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