Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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What is the difference between a joke and an antijoke? An antijoke does not have a punch line.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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