Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

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American healthcare.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Womens rights.

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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I like jokes.

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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