What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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Guess what? SHADAP

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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