A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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Is Carly smart? No.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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