How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down +24

to see a bad joke look above

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

this is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Want to hear an anti-joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops