why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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women's rights

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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balls in ya mouf

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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