Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's in there? Get outta there...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops