What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Military intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Rick Perry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops