What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

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What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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what color is blue? green

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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wanna hear a joke? no

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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no

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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