"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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Knock Knock Come in.

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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