Roses are red Violets are blue I hate poems Penis.

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Global Warming.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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