a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So - this baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The white guy did it!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops