A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

Carlton

What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

Canada

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Robin, get into the Batmobile.

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

GRAAAAAAAR.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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