What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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Hair

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Rob Bell

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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