What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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87

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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son, you're adopted.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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I hate you.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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