What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

thumb_up thumb_down

I Love Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down

If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops