Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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I like to eat.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops