Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops