What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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