why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +25

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops