Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

what is red white and blue? the french flag

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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