Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +27

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

if you are reading this your wasting your time

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +23

TRICERATOPS!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops