What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

women rights

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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